Keeping the Lenten Mission Alive in our Hearts - Part 2

Lenten Mission

This past Lent, Father Mark Thibodeaux, S.J. conducted a Parish Mission on the topics of “Cloister, Community, and Hospitality.” As a way for us to keep the mission’s message alive in our hearts, the handout for each session will be posted here on the blog. Today, “Five Rules for a Loving Fight” follows. In the week of the 24th of May, “Session III: Hospitality” will be posted. Parishioners are encouraged to leisurely reflect on these handouts. Let the content inspire us to grow in the Lord Jesus.

Monsignor Robert Romero

Session II: Community

What drew me closest to my brothers was the delight of chatting and laughing together; of showing our affection for one another by kindly services; of reading together from books that spoke of pleasant things; … of joking together amicably; of disputing now and then but without resentment, as one is wont to do with himself; of awakening by rare contest the pleasure of being one in mind; of mutually instructing one another; of longing for the absent one, and tasting joy at his return. We loved each other with all our hearts, and these marks of our friendship that were shown in our faces, by our voices, in our eyes and a thousand other ways were among us like ardent flames that fused our souls together, and of many made but one.

St. Augustine

Nothing is more practical than finding God --- that is --- than falling in love in a quite absolute and final way. What you are in love with, what seizes your imagination will affect everything. It will decide what will get you out of bed in the morning, what you do with your evenings, how you spend your weekends, what you read, who you know, what breaks your heart, and what amazes you with joy and gratitude.

Fall in love and stay in love and it will decide everything.

Pedro Arrupe, SJ

For your reflection

Chose one of the quotes above and read over it prayerfully, asking the Lord to speak to you through the words. If you find a word or phrase that strikes you, stay with it and repeat it several times, allowing it to sink deep in your heart.

Reflect on the reality that you are called to be with each member of your family/community. Feel the Lord calling you to them now.

As a member of a family/community, I am called to:

o Invest my best
o Confront
o Be vulnerable
o Let go and let grow
o Ritualize our togetherness.

Which of these am I really good at? Which do I need to work on, especially in the season of Lent? Talk to Jesus about it.

Five Rules for a Loving Fight

1. Love can be your only motivation and the only standard by which you say one thing and refrain from saying another. Beware of “It’s a matter of principle.” When lovingly confronting, use no jokes, gossip, cynicism or sarcasm.

2. The one who initiates the confrontation must be willing to listen twice as much as he or she speaks.

3. Tell facts about others and emotions about yourself. Do not make judgments about what the other person is thinking or feeling. Simply state the observable behavior and then state how that behavior makes you feel.

4. Seek creative ways to meet the values of both parties. If you work hard enough, most situations are not win-lose situations, but win-win situations

5. Affirm all affirmable things. Do some affirming activity shortly after the confrontation is over.